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Search Query Confession Roundup



I will be the first one to admit embarrassing behavior. In internet speak, “I haz no shame.”

Well, today some officemates started discussing this week’s Search and Destroy podcast episode [2], particularly the segment where we all discussed our intimate and strange image searches of the week. I thought, “Surely we are not alone in our questionable Google-behavior.” So I opened it up to the rest of The Search Agency, and let them expose their true selves…through search that is.


Search Query Confessions: By, The Search Agency Employees


Ami Grant, Director SEM Media [3]

Query: “do it yourself dog cleaning”

Story: The vet charges way too much to do this! I have two dogs, so owning a teeth scraper would save me tons.


Sarah Gottlieb, SEO Creative Editor [4]


“One of the oddest ones was above. Looking for an article that talked about how Lego is the #1 tire manufacturer in the country.  (Blog/social research for client)

Also, I was obsessed with the berks dog, so I googled that a few times to laugh.  Now deleting my search history.”


Barbara Palmer, President [6]

Query: “how long it would take to swim from SF to LA”

Results:  Broad matched to “How long would it take to drift from LA to Hawaii.”

Story: TSA employee was stuck at an airport in SF and we were brainstorming ways for him to get home.  BART to Oakland, then fly.  Train to Bakersfield, then bus to LA.  Decided to search the swim option.


Austin Wisner, Account Manager


…..I don’t think I want my name on that one [*editor’s note: TOO BAD!]


Grant Simmons, Director of Earned Media Product [7]

“I directed someone to search for my name on Pinterest so I could share my photos / interests. The results didn’t accurately reflect my Pins, lifestyle or – ahem – bikini body.”


Carl Dunham, CTO/Founder [9]


Story: I have a friend who is a fish scientist, and whenever I read anything she writes, I have to do several searches like this.


Story: My ten-year-old son suggested I do a search for this. Totally worth it!


Matt McKinley, SEO Creative Editor [10]

Query: “cupcake ATM beverly hills”

Story: It was late and my girlfriend and I were craving a dessert. With no froyo place open, we ventured to the 24-hour Sprinkles cupcake ATM in Beverly Hills to find an hour-long wait wrapping around the block so we didn’t end up getting dessert that night. Just another example of why there are no good decisions after midnight.


Tanya Gorlow, Manager, Project Management [11]

Query: “coconut crab”

Story: Because I was trying to find a pic to show my husband how hideous they are.



Heather Sundell, Marketing Manager [13]

Query: “yolo”

Story: The kids these days keep using #yolo on Twitter and Tumblr. I’m old and out of loop, yet very resourceful.


Waleed Rashid, Senior Manager – San Francisco

Query: “polyphonically grouped 20 square digit key transformed in booster verdonic form with multiple nulls”

Story: Yeah, I’ve never seen “Spies Like Us”. So what?!


Raquel Krouse, Social Media Consultant

Query: “average 6 months pregnancy weight gain:

Story: Because I am pregnant and have already gained 20lbs!


See, you are not alone in your weird and delightfully odd Googling behavior! Have you got a Search Query Confession? Leave it in the comments or tweet us @thesearchagency [14]! Happy Friday!


About Heather Sundell

Heather has five years of experience in online and offline marketing. She graduated from The University of Southern California with a Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and absolutely no idea how USC football works. An aspiring cyclist, blogger, and cheese enthusiast, she is currently honing her Gen Y skills by doing all three at once.